The Invisible War

How can I get people who are not able to see my pain, to understand just how crippling it is. How can I get them to understand that at times I want to explode. How can I get them to understand the enormous amount of physical, emotional and mental strength it takes for me to get through each day. I try not to complain. I try not to take my frustration out on others. I try to focus on positive and healing energy. Inside of my body, there is a war going on and I am feeling the strike of the guns, knives, swords, shields, maces as they clash sometimes endlessly. It is frustrating when you begin to feel the doctors are helpless against this beast and there really isn't much more they can do until you escalate to the next level and that is the last thing you want. It is hard when every blood test, CT Scan, X-ray, stool sample all show the same thing. Nothing has changed, this is just your life, please accept it and deal with it. I keep feeling like I want my life back. I want the theater. I want clients, I want a birth. I want to give. I feel stuck. I feel unfulfilled. I feel helpless at times. I feel the invisible war inside.....